INHIBITED SEXUAL DESIRE: WHAT IS NORMAL-FOR YOU? EXPECTATIONS AND SEXUAL DESIRE - FREQUENCY

A recent survey of sex therapists revealed that most of their patients believed a normal person wanted to have sex at least two to three times a week. Where did they get this impression? Probably from the widely publicized Kinsey studies, and more recent surveys, which established this as the average frequency of sexual intercourse.

But what does that statistic mean? Is it telling you that you are abnormal because you have sex less than two or three times a week? Is it a reason to be concerned or to take action to bring your sex life up to par? We definitely do not recommend trying to have intercourse more often because of some statistical average. A mathematical figure simply should not be allowed to dictate how often anyone engages in sexual activity. Besides, if matching the national average really indicates that you are normal and not matching it irrefutably proves that you have a sexual problem, why aren't people who have sex more than two to three times a week upset and worried that they might be oversexed?

When all is said and done, an average is only a statistic. It may not even reflect what most people do most of the time. A recent study of married couples, for example, did show that the largest percentage (31 percent) had sex two to three times a week. However, 24 percent of those surveyed had sex just once a week and 23 percent had it just two or three times a month which means that at least 47 percent of married couples have sex less often than the national average.

That statistic may help you feel better if the only reason you felt you were not having sex often enough was because you weren't measuring up to national average. However, it won't be much help to you ifbased on your own past level of sexual desire and your sexual expectationsyou would like to have sex more often or less often than you do now. You will have to take a closer look at what may be influencing the frequency of your sexual activity, asking yourself if, under those circumstances, it is reasonable for you and your partner to have sex more often than you do.

*22\261\8*

Men's Health-Erectile Dysfunction